WE SAID SAID WE’D NEVER TELL…

September 21, 2012
WE SAID WE'D NEVER TELL

We all did dumb things at university… WE SAID WE'D NEVER TELL Anonymous Employee One

When I was a poor student I used to dab TCP on my spots. One time I’d run out, so I was dabbing Savlon on my face whilst getting ready to go out. My friend rang and I chatted away for about 20 minutes. When I hung up I realised I’d been holding the cotton wool on my face the whole time. I took it off and my skin fell off with it. I was left with a giant circle patch that flashed white and red. Literally the most painful thing ever. It took months to clear.

WE SAID WE'D NEVER TELL

Anonymous Employee Two

Being a bit of a rascal, I accidentally got too drunk in Fresher’s Week and threw a chair out of a third story window. Little did I know, it near-missed a police officer who was patrolling outside. She was less than impressed and reported me to the Senior Halls Resident, which earned me the first of the three warnings I got during my year in halls for being naughty. Luckily I got my chair back (happy ending!).

WE SAID WE'D NEVER TELL

Anonymous Employee Three

A friend of mine brought a guy back to our place one night, but he was so drunk she made him sleep on the sofa. In the morning he was gone and somebody had done a poo in our hall. He hadn’t even stuck around to pick up his phone before he ran into the night, and it was another two weeks before anybody saw him… Priceless.

WE SAID WE'D NEVER TELL

Anonymous Employee Four

We used to have a regular hedge jumping competition at the end of every night and I fell in the Bristol City Centre fountain at 10:30 on my first Saturday night out. I went out in fancy dress with a basketball duct taped to my hand, head-to-toe in a retro Allen Iverson oversized basketball kit. We worked our way through much imaginative fancy dress. First night: clothes inside out, following night: clothes back to front, third night: swimming caps. We also used to play football in the halls corridor. You had to stand face on at the end of the hall, whilst someone took a free kick at you. You obviously weren’t allowed to flinch. Oh and one night which can never be repeated… ever.

WE SAID WE'D NEVER TELL

Anonymous Employee Five

There was this one time we killed a guy. There wasn’t really, I was pretty boring at university.