JIM’LL PAINT IT

March 25, 2013
JIM'LL PAINT IT

“I am here to make your wildest dreams a reality using nothing but Microsoft Paint (no tablets, no touch ups). Ask me to paint anything you wish and I will try no matter how specific or surreal your demands. While there aren’t enough hours in the day to physically paint every suggestion I will consider them all. Bonus points for originality and humour. Use your imagination!”

These are the words of rising blog star Jim’ll Paint It, a mystery man who draws scenes from the darkest depths of your imagination. Without hesitating this has to be one of the funniest and most skilled blogs we have ever come across, just look at that picture above, what the heck!

Here’s some of our favourite pieces so far…

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please paint me Timothy Dalton having an intense arm wrestling match at Stonehenge with Oprah Winfrey as William Shatner force feeds her Spandeu Ballet cassette tapes. Also Tupac Shakur is fly tipping his knackered hot point washing machine from his rusted out blue Ford transit.

Thanks,

Chris

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please paint me an episode of Come Dine With Me that features Phillip Schofield as the host for the dinner party. The guests are Pat Butcher, Walter White from Breaking Bad and Crash Bandicoot. There is nothing but Pot Noodles and bottles of Buckfast being served to the guests. Crash Bandicoot has a bit too much to drink and ends up urinating on Phillips collection of Pokemon cards.

Thanks,

Daryl

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please paint me an episode of popular Saturday dating show Take Me Out in which the young man coming down the love lift is the Norris-Thing from The Thing. It is attempting to absorb and replicate the desperate screaming female contestants and to the side Paddy McGuinness vomits on his chest in fear. This horror could have been averted if not for the fact that Kurt Russell, sitting in the audience armed with flamethrower and a mighty beard, has spotted himself on camera and is waving to family.

Thanks,

Greig Morrison

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please paint me Mr. Blobby having his mugshot taken in a police station having clearly been involved in a physical altercation. Meanwhile, Noel Edmonds is dressed in ladies lingerie and is giving a statement to a police officer that resembles Captain Jack Sparrow. There are empty Dr. Pepper cans everywhere.

Many thanks,

Chris

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please paint me Robocop at the checkout in Tesco, trying to decide if its worth 10p for a bag for life. He has bought a shitload of Soreen so he’s going to need something sturdy.

That would be magic.

Nick Connors

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please could you paint me Jarvis Cocker sideways on a London tube in a fireman’s outfit playing the harpsichord.

Kind regards,

Frank

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please paint me Anthony Worrall Thompson making an absolutely pathetic attempt at shoplifting in Pets at Home. He’s trying to conceal a fishtank under his jumper, a pair of love birds in his Nike bum-bag and there are gerbils spilling out of his pockets. His poorly thought through disguise consists only of a beard fashioned from orange coloured hamster bedding. His expression should reflect a sense of exasperation at his own stupidity as he realises that he already had a real beard of the exact same colour to begin with.

Thanks,

Dave Rankin

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please paint me a picture of Brian Blessed riding a Henry hoover alongside D’n’B DJ Goldie on a Dyson. They are racing on the Mario kart level rainbow road and are both drunk on white ace cider.

Thanks,

Tommy

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please paint me Pinhead from Hellraiser getting flustered while on Celebrity Masterchef. Thanks,

Bee Log

JIM'LL PAINT IT

Dear Jim,

Please paint me Morrissey eating a horse.

Regards,

Oliver Collings

So.. err… that’s that then. How warped is your mind now? Let us know the comments below..